A Mess of Gold
by Ava Chanel
Summary: What was supposed to be nothing more than a learning exercise, ended up becoming far more complicated than what either Raven or Beast Boy had anticipated. With the dynamic of the team already in jeopardy, how much more damage could one little secret possibly do? BBRae, set in the DCAU, post Judas Contract.
1. The Elephant in the Room

**A/N:** _I'm so sorry, I couldn't help myself._

* * *

 **A Mess of Gold**

 **1**

 **The Elephant in the Room**

* * *

 _Let's let the stars watch, let them stare,  
Let the wind eavesdrop I don't care,  
For all that we've got don't let go,  
Just hold me…_

-Eavesdrop, The Civil Wars

* * *

"Is that magic?"

The newest addition to the team was anything but filtered regarding her many curiosities.

Raven was never a fan of talking about herself. In fact, she often went to great lengths to avoid the subject entirely. For the most part, she'd even gotten away with it. Until Trigon had reared his ugly head, of course. Damian Wayne's frequent probing into her mysterious past had also played a part in the epic reveal, much to her disdain.

"I only ask because Zeus is the one who grants us our gifts. You are not an Amazonian, however," Donna pressed, staring openly at the meditating, levitating empath.

Raven ignored her, although the strength of the emotions bleeding off of Wonder Girl were slowly manifesting and invading the calm the sorceress had so meticulously weaved.

"Have you heard of the Justice League Dark? They're also magic users, so I'm told."

A muscle in Raven's jaw twitched as she lost grip of the tranquility she needed to quiet her father.

 _I could smite them all._ _ **We**_ _could smite them all._

Raven clenched her teeth in mild agitation. "No smiting today, thank you."

She floated down to the ground gracefully, her long, dark cloak billowing about her booted feet upon landing.

Donna stared at her quizzically, trying to comprehend the relevance of the empath's strange statement.

The pale slip of a girl brushed a stray lock of obsidian violet hair from her eyes. "It's a bit more complicated than merely labelling it as _magic_. Zatanna and Constantine are spell casters. My abilities are innate, and I'm an empath. Emotions drive my powers rather than spells, artifacts, and incantations," Raven explained monotonously. It was as simple as she could think to word it.

A look of understanding coloured the other girl's pretty features, her striking azure eyes widening, and her lips parting. She nodded slowly. "Sounds…powerful."

"Raven is a valuable asset to this team," Starfire chimed in, drawing the attention of the other females in the room.

She strolled into the training arena casually, followed closely behind by both Jaime and Garfield.

"As are you, Donna Troy," the Titans' leader was sure to acknowledge with a kind smile.

Garfield pulled his arms behind his head and stretched his muscles. The changeling boy then grinned. "Yeah, we could always use more cute girls on the roster." He winked in Donna's direction.

"Dude, could you be any _less_ subtle?" Jaime elbowed the kid lightly in the ribs.

"Ow! What's your deal?" Beast Boy whined, fixing his taller friend with a scathing glare. His antics, however, went ignored.

"Where's Robin?" Raven suddenly noted, glancing around the room in hopes of spotting the young, caped hero.

Garfield shrugged. Jaime scratched at the back of his head. Starfire wore a look of unease and discontent.

"Patrolling," the older woman answered, somewhat strained.

Raven effectively masked the pout that otherwise would have betrayed her thoughts on the matter.

Everyone knew that Starfire's takeover in leadership had more than just ruffled Damian's feathers; the unanimous decision as voted by his teammates had been, perhaps, the bigger sting. As a result, Robin had become more standoffish than usual, often choosing to work alone than involve any of his teammates in whatever he was doing. Damian had become reclusive and mistrusting of his friends, and not even Titus was able to cure him of that.

"He's _always_ out patrolling," Garfield commented, rolling his eyes. "His poor pup is always whining outside of his bedroom door, and won't stop pacing no matter what we try and do."

Donna's sharp, dark eyebrows furrowed, and her hands were at her hips. "How can he still be a part of this team when he refuses to participate as a member of the Titans?"

"He just needs time to adjust," said Kory, not without sympathy.

Jaime nodded in agreeance. "He's still a Titan, Donna. He's still one of us. He'll find his way home, I'm sure of it."

Wonder Girl folded her arms over her chest and jutted out her bottom lip in protest. "Training is an important part of the job. We've all experienced hardships and struggle, but we're all here, anyways."

Raven pretended not to notice the way Garfield's eyes dropped to the floor.

"Enough." Starfire brandished her silver staff, narrowing her glowing green gaze at the youths around her. "There will be no more talk of Robin. You must all focus today," she spoke sternly.

The group seemed to quiet down, all their attention on the tall, intimidating woman standing in the centre. "Today, you'll each be tested on your weaknesses," she continued, her voice gaining a hard edge.

Raven had to fight the urge to roll her eyes; she hated physical combat training, as she was always the weakest of the group in that category. Starfire was fully aware of that, and had obviously planned a day of activities that would help put an end to the bad habit Raven had of avoiding physical training.

"Should your powers become nullified, Raven, you will need to be efficient in hand-to-hand combat," the alien princess had chastised her once before.

Even though each and every one of the Teen Titans had a condemning attribute, Raven felt that none of them were nearly as bad as hers.

Jaime's weakness was also his strength; the uncontrollable beetle. It was no secret that he needed to exercise more control over the scarab, which had a mind of its own. Donna often struggled with endurance. Although powerful, she would often fall apart the longer she strained and tested her body. Beast Boy had to become more efficient and quick with his transformations, and Kory was seemingly the shining example of a true warrior.

Even Damian was forced to undergo training; Starfire felt that his arrogance often got the better of him in a battle. Thus, she frequently pit him against Jaime, where the both of them had something to gain from the fight.

With Donna, Starfire took it upon herself to train the new girl. Only Kory could effectively handle the brute strength of the Amazonian, and dish it right back at her with equal fervor. Where Donna would need to catch her breath, Kory would still be standing, not a bead of sweat on her perfectly golden complexion.

That left Beast Boy and Raven.

Initially, the empath could not comprehend the reasoning behind the match up; Robin would have been the more obvious choice when it came to physical prowess. Besides, how was she ever supposed to stop a gorilla without drawing on her abilities?

However, when the changeling boy had stepped up to the plate wearing a cheeky grin, still very much in his human form, Raven had begun to understand.

"We're uneven today," Jaime stated.

Starfire sighed deeply. "Wonder Girl and Blue Beetle. Beast Boy and Raven. I'll watch and critique as necessary."

It wasn't the first time the line-up had to change; Damian's frequent absences often put a wrench in many of Kory's carefully laid out plans.

"Think you've learned anything from last time, Rae?" Garfield teased, fixing his eerie, amber eyes on the emotionless girl in front of him.

Raven ignored his taunt, and proceeded to remove her cloak; it managed to do nothing but get in her way during the physical sparring sessions with the shapeshifter, anyways. In fact, he'd pointed out the disadvantage quite easily enough after only a few minutes during their last encounter.

"I've been…working out," she replied, carefully placing the thick fabric on a nearby bench.

The green-skinned boy threw his head back in a fit of chuckles. "Good! Why don't you try throwing a few punches first?"

Raven took on a defensive stance, bringing her fists before her face. He used his fingers to motion her to start, giving her the offensive tactic first. Raven closed the distance between them, and they circled one another, face to face. Beast Boy danced on his toes as he awaited her attack, keeping his arms up to protect him from the flurry of punches he was anticipating.

By the time Raven worked up the courage to make the first move, it hardly mattered that he'd given her a handicap. Every sharp jab she made, Beast Boy dodged effectively and with grace.

She tried to be faster. She tried to pull more strength into every throw, but Beast Boy's reflexes were uncanny, and it annoyed her to no end seeing him so smug throughout the exchange. If anything, the emotion invigorated her, and she was sweating profusely by the time they'd worked their way across the room. She could almost hear her father goading her in the back of her mind, but she was quick to shut him out. The last thing she needed was a distraction.

Raven gritted her teeth, making grunts and other incomprehensible battle noises as she tried to come at him with everything she had.

Eventually, Beast Boy caught her fist in his hand, and pulled her into him, turning her around and locking her back against his chest. Having caught Raven by surprise, he managed to hold her there with a strength she'd never have expected from the lanky, lean, younger male. She could feel his hot breath tickle the strands of hair by her ear, all the while she fidgeted against him, tempted to draw upon her powers to send him flying backwards. Raven did not enjoy being contained in any manner, nor was she comfortable with an embrace this... _intimate_.

She could practically smell the spice of his deodorant mingling with the sweat contained in his uniform.

Garfield sniggered playfully as she groaned in frustration, her arms trapped in his iron-clad grip. "You need to work on your upper body strength, Rae," he suggested, his voice breathy and uncomfortably close. "I could give you some tips, if you want."

Raven stomped on Beast Boy's foot in response, effectively weakening the boy's hold on her. She took advantage of the moment, and elbowed him in the chest before breaking free from him entirely. Garfield staggered back in pain, his eyes bulging while he hunched over, clutching at his torso, and hopping on one foot.

"Nicely done," he wheezed in agony.

Raven's fast beating heart slowed back into a normal rhythm as she breathed.

"Garfield, you're taking it too lightly. I don't want you holding back this much. In battle, no adversary would dare to do such a thing," Starfire intervened, stepping around the two of them with her arms folded over her chest.

There was a fiery look in her glowing eyes, as the notion of battle often excited the alien warrior woman. Raven could feel the way she itched for it; the way she held such a primal urge at bay.

Beast Boy stood up, the pain from their previous entanglement having ebbed away. Raven resumed her stance, and patiently waited for his attack. He cracked his neck, and smirked. "Looks like practice is over, Rae."

Then, he charged, quick and efficient.

Raven had learned how nimble and spry Garfield was on the first day they'd sparred. During previous sessions, he'd purposely come at her slow, explaining his attacks in detail so that upon execution, she was able to block them. However, when he moved this fast, his fists becoming a blur, Raven had a harder time keeping up.

She used her arms to block his onslaught, dodging whenever she could, but he was backing her up into a corner, no matter how hard she tried to keep her footing. Somehow, she knew he was _still_ holding back, for none of the blows he _did_ land hurt. He was also avoiding any parts on her that would bruise or leave her staggered.

"Raven, you must find an opening and take it," instructed Starfire. "If you allow him to continue, you will lose!"

The empath tried heeding her leader's words, but Beast Boy was coming at her without a hitch in speed or endurance. Raven's frustrations at her embarassing predicament were only serving to hinder her further, and she grit her teeth from the effort it took just to stay standing. Beast Boy's hands were a green blur, and if she managed to throw even a single punch, he'd merely dodge it with little effort.

"Fight back, Raven!" Starfire shouted desperately.

Growing more and more agitated with every deflection, and knowing she was close to being backed up against the wall, Raven resorted to a different tactic.

During his barrage of punches, she kicked her leg out low, making contact with Beast Boy's ankle, and effectively threw him off balance.

The unsuspecting boy came tumbling forward, as expected.

However, he also fell right into Raven herself, taking her down with him.

Before she could even think of using her powers to prevent the collision, she was already beneath the changeling, the back of her head bouncing against the mats of the arena.

She could hear Donna gasp softly as her match with Jaime came to a sudden halt. Somewhere overhead, Starfire's shadow loomed, a disapproving frown on her lips.

Raven winced, trying to open her eyes to adjust to the bright lighting overhead, but Beast Boy's body was weighing her down and disorienting her. She felt him fidget against her, and that was when she realized that his face had been buried in her chest.

Her eyes suddenly focused, and Garfield lifted himself partially off of her with an inward groan. The changeling shook the mass of green, unruly waves of his hair as the adrenaline from the fight wore off. He hardly seemed to notice where he'd landed, and Raven wasn't going to give him any incriminating proof. She maintained a blank expression, patiently waiting for him to gather his bearings and stand up.

"Ugh, at least that was a soft landing," he noted, clutching his head and still swaying as he tried to regain his balance. His hand then blindly grabbed at one of her breasts unknowingly in his attempt to refamiliarize himself with his surroundings.

"Beast Boy, you're groping me," she informed him dryly, trying to contain her uneasiness as best as she could.

Donna was masking her snickering with her hand, Starfire sighed, and Jaime looked away, probably suffering from second hand embarrassment.

"What? Oh!" Garfield nearly jumped when he realized what he'd been doing, but not before he'd given her breast a confused squeeze first. Some of the colour seemed to drain from his face. "Uh, woops. Sorry, Rae. Not intentional, I swear," he apologized.

Starfire rubbed at her temples. "Let's take a break and come back to it later. Raven, Beast Boy, I want you both hitting the weight room together from here on out."

Raven sat up, feeling sore where she'd landed on her back. "Weights?" she mused, anxious.

The red-haired beauty nodded curtly. "Yes. Garfield has a good regime I think you should follow to help build up your strength. All the combat training in the world will mean nothing if you don't apply the correct amount of force behind it."

If there was one thing Raven hated more than physical combat training, it was hitting the gym. "Great," she remarked sarcastically.

Beast Boy offered her a green hand, and she took it. When she stood up, she wiped at her uniform and fixed her hair.

"I'll try and make it fun," he said with a forced smile.

Raven scoffed. "You and I have very different definitions of fun, Beast Boy."

* * *

After Raven had showered, she was perfectly tuckered out and ready to spend the rest of her evening in her room with a good book. The hot water and steam had helped with her aching, sore muscles, and with the promise of more to come, she was more than willing to take advantage of the downtime available to her.

She was wringing out the short strands of her dark hair with a towel when there was a quiet knock on her door. Raven paused, looking down at the towel robe and shower shoes she was still wearing.

"Hey, Rae. It's me, Gar. I was wondering if you had a minute," came the changeling's muffled voice from the other side of her bedroom.

Raven tightened the sash around her trim waist, and quickly ran a comb through her messy, obsidian hair. She then padded over to her door, and unlocked it. Slowly, she opened it, peering out into the hallway.

Beast Boy's pleasant smile was the first thing she saw, along with his eager, gold-tinted eyes, and green complexion. She raised an eyebrow. He still smelled like sweat, and was wearing his red spandex uniform; signs that he'd yet to hit the showers after their rigorous training.

"Is something wrong?" Raven queried.

He shook his head briefly. "Nah, I was just coming by to…check in on you. I know I went a little hard on you today, and I'm sorry if I hurt you at all. You know how Star gets when it comes to this stuff."

Raven shrugged. "Any bruises or cuts, my body can easily heal," she reassured him. "My muscles are still a bit sore, but I'll survive."

Beast Boy scratched at the back of his head, rocking on the balls of his feet awkwardly. "Good. That's good. The healing thing, I mean. Not that your muscles are sore."

Raven studied him, unblinking. "Is there something else, Beast Boy?"

His smile fell slightly, and his eyes softened, his gaze dropping to the ground to avoid her penetrating, cobalt stare. "I hope you know I didn't mean to be a pervert or anything." His voice was small when he spoke.

Raven let go of the breath she'd hardly realized she'd been holding. She had almost thought that perhaps, the changeling was finally ready to address his complex feelings regarding Terra's cruel death. In fact, the empath had been anticipating it for a while now, and was slightly disheartened that Garfield was keeping his feelings buried from his friends. The one time that Jaime had tried approaching him, Beast Boy had flatly said that he didn't want to speak about it, and then promptly left the room, ignoring everyone. Since then, no one had ever broached the topic; not even Damian.

"It's not a big deal," Raven responded blandly. "Besides, I'm not exactly what you'd call _your type_ , anyways."

She didn't know where that had come from, or why she'd even said it. It was like an afterthought, and yet, her words carried an impact she hadn't clued in to. Nonetheless, it seemed to catch the inquisitive shapeshifter's attention.

"Uh, why would you think that?" he pressed, gaining some newfound confidence.

Raven went silent, the colour draining from her face, and her mouth becoming a tight line. For the life of her, she couldn't think of the right thing to say.

Beast Boy stopped bouncing on his feet, and when she remained mum on the subject, he averted his golden stare away from her face. "Rae, everyone sort of… _knows_ about you and Robin," he began delicately. "I'd never…I'm not the type of guy…," Garfield stammered, struggling to find the words. "What I'm trying to say is, I wouldn't be that disrespectful, _ever_."

Raven was rarely used to experiencing multiple emotions at once. As of that moment, she wasn't sure if she should have been mortified, or angry or confused. So, instead, she became an amalgamation of all three.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," she huffed, all the while her face felt aflame.

It was Garfield's turn to raise his eyebrow in disbelief. "All I'm saying is, you two have gotten awfully close-"

"How can anyone be close to someone who is hardly ever around anymore? I feel like I barely know him these days!" Raven interjected suddenly, her emotions getting the better of her.

Almost immediately, she regretted her words. Her hands clasped over her mouth, and her eyes grew wide in horror. Sensing her newly budding distress, Garfield's youthful features contorted into uncharacteristic concern and empathy. He kept opening, and closing his mouth as if he was trying to formulate something to comfort her, but nothing adequate would come out.

"I have to go," Raven stated hastily in a raspy voice.

Before her teammate could even think to protest, the sorceress slammed her door shut and locked it with fumbling, sweating fingers.

Her heart was beating maddeningly in her chest, her head dizzy, and the room around her spinning. She squeezed her eyes closed, and tried to calm the sudden restlessness from within her.

Where had _that_ come from?

* * *

 **A/N:** _Bet you can't guess where this is going. As per usual, feedback is welcomed. Hopefully this'll be another short-chaptered fic, like Black Honey. If I'm unable to update frequently, please be patient with me! I'm currently in school and the courses I'm taking are pretty harsh. I assure you, I have abandoned nothing._


	2. In the Dark

**A Mess of Gold**

 **2**

 **In the Dark**

* * *

On these unusual nights, she was staying up later and later.

Raven told herself that she didn't know why; convinced herself that it was probably just the entrancing book she was reading. One more sentence, one more paragraph, one more page. She couldn't fathom going to sleep on a cliff-hanger. Her dreams would be plagued by endless possibility, she surmised.

Everyone believed her simple little lie; everyone but her, of course.

The order in which the team would wipe out for the night was usually rather predictable, much to Raven's relief. It was typically a tie between Kory and Jaime for the first to tucker out during the slower days the Titans often experienced. If Nightwing was around, then Kory was a shoe-in. The happy couple would retire early to their quarters, fingers laced, their smiles only for each other, and living in a bubble that clearly didn't include the rest of the world whenever they were together. It didn't matter if they really did go to sleep, or merely wanted to have some much-needed alone time without the prying eyes of their younger charges. The swell of love and passion that emanated from them was often enough to make Raven queasy.

The truth was, she couldn't discern if she was envious of them, or simply fascinated with the way a romance like that could bloom and thrive in such an environment. She was frequently torn between trying to understand it, and coming to terms with her own insecurities regarding the pursuit of something… _similar_.

Her cheeks burned just thinking about it; did she even _want_ something like that?

Was she even capable?

"You staying up, Rave?"

Garfield's stretched out yawn drew the empath away from her rather distracting thoughts, and brought her back to the present. She glanced up from the pages of her novel, and noted the changeling's drowsy, amber gaze fixated on her from across the couch. He laid there lazily, his long limbs spread out and dangling from the edges of the sofa. Both lax and comfortable, Raven could have sworn the boy had dozed off at some point during the night, drooling on the armrest as he'd napped.

As per usual, it was always the two of them left. It should have meant something to her that she was outdoing the resident night owl himself these days, but since no one thought to question it, neither did she.

"Just a little bit longer," she answered before promptly returning to her story.

Garfield had then turned off the television and placed the remote on the coffee table. He then stood up and stretched his arms up over his head, standing on his tiptoes. Another yawn, this time so powerful it made his eyes water. He ensured that it was loud and distracting, enough to pull the empath away from focus.

Yawns, after all, were contagious, and even though Raven didn't quite feel tired yet, the text on the pages she was staring at were starting to blur.

Garfield chuckled to himself. "Maybe not _that_ much longer," he mused aloud, earning him a tiny scowl. "G'night," he yawned once more before taking his leave.

Raven waited for the sound of his footsteps to recede down the corridor before releasing the breath she'd been anxiously holding. Impatiently, she glanced at the still ticking clock; the only noise in the otherwise silent, lonely room.

Just a few minutes past two in the morning. Where had all the time gone?

Her gaze then flitted to the elevator doors, lingering. With bated breath, she waited, listening to the soft movement of the hands on the clock with every passing second.

Maybe tonight would be the night.

Maybe, tonight, Robin would finally come back _home_. She chewed her bottom lip in anticipation merely thinking about it; the old times, the good times they'd shared. As much as she'd been looking forward to such a moment, the truth was that Raven had no idea what she'd say, or how she'd even begin to explain herself. What would he think of her then? More importantly; would it be enough to convince him to stay?

Then again, so many uneventful nights like these had gone past that she'd practically lost count of them. So many missed opportunities and so much wishful thinking. She was starting to believe it unlikely that she'd ever run into him, even though she knew how often he stole away in the night when everyone else was asleep. Perhaps that was why she'd grown so comfortable and confident with her latest activity. Failure had become an unexpected companion that the empath welcomed like an old friend. Raven sighed deeply, allowing her aching eyes to fall closed as she shut her book and placed it in her lap.

Garfield was right; maybe she _was_ tired.

Using her powers, she turned off the remainder of the lights in the common room area, and headed towards the bedroom quarters.

The hallway was dark; a lot darker than she'd been accustomed to, and her eyes didn't seem to adjust properly no matter how much she blinked. Who was it that had told her the darkest part of the night occurred at two in the morning? Nonetheless, it wasn't the darkness that scared her; it was the _quiet_. The stillness of life. Not a sound came from her teammate's bedrooms, not even a rustling of blankets. Raven walked a little bit faster, clutched her book just a little bit tighter to her chest. Inside the gemstone on her forehead, her father mocked her, but all he did was cackle in her moment of weakness. She tried to tune him out, but her palms were sweating and her heart was racing. Her eyes darted about maddeningly; she was almost at the threshold; almost at the safety of her bedroom when something brushed her shoulder. Raven nearly yelped, practically jumping out of her skin, and immediately turning to confront her assailant while taking on a defensive stance.

Unfortunately, it was so dark in that narrow hallway that she could barely make out his silhouette. "Relax," a familiar voice urged, his gloved hands rising in surrender. "It's just me. What's got you so spooked?"

Raven, suddenly self-conscious as she came to recognize the other presence in the cramped corridor, tried her best to compose herself. "Damian?" she called out tentatively, lowing her hands, the dark, ominous energy dissipating around her fingers. She had to be certain that he wasn't merely an illusion her exhausted mind had concocted. Or a ghost.

She thought she might have caught the faintest glimmer of green from his mask when she squinted, along with the scent of his salty sweat in the air. He folded his arms over his chest. "Why are you up this late?" he probed, looking as irritable as he sounded. If he was concerned at all, he didn't show it.

"I – I was just going to bed," Raven gulped. She always hated how it often felt like he was interrogating her, even when it was the simplest questions he asked.

She could sense his skepticism even in the darkness. The whites where his eyes lurked studied her intensely, and she didn't know if it was the lack of light that made him strain his vision, or something else entirely.

"It's two in the morning. You're usually in bed no later than ten."

She chose to gloss over the fact that he'd somehow studied her sleeping habits, and instead, tried to recall all the things she had planned to say for this precise moment.

"You should be one to talk," she began, her voice gaining an accusatory, icy edge, "You're always sneaking off into the night. I – _We_ never even see you anymore. How can you say that you're a part of this team when you're never around?"

Anger was as familiar an emotion to Raven as breathing was to her body. It took every ounce of her willful strength to contain her hurt pride and prevent it from getting the better of her.

Damian betrayed nothing; he was always unreadable, most especially when he wore the mask and the outfit. His eyes, a striking emerald green, were by far the most expressive part of the batboy, and when they were concealed, there was nothing else that would ever betray his actual intentions.

"Like I told Starfire, I'm patrolling," he enunciated without a flicker of emotion. He acted as if this explanation should have sufficed. As if she should have been grateful he was bothering to answer her at all.

It only frustrated the empath even further. "Yes, we _all_ know that. But I know you better. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be standing here right now."

"I came back to check on Titus," he shrugged easily enough. "Needed to be sure that my absence wouldn't result in any unnecessary casualties."

Raven frowned, her jaw clenching, feeling an oncoming headache in her midst. Getting through to Damian was often like trying to talk a wall into moving. "You can be insufferable, you know that?"

The boy wonder scoffed in response.

Agitated by his callous reaction, Raven barked; "Do you sincerely mean to tell me that you no longer care about this team? About _any_ of us? After…after everything we've all been through together? Did it mean _nothing_?"

"Fine! It's not just Titus!" he exclaimed, gritting his teeth.

A silence fell between them, and he couldn't meet her eyes anymore. That vulnerability, the one he was always so reluctant to show, she could see a flicker of it now, ever so brief. His defenses were coming down, if only by a little. This knowledge, that he felt comfortable enough to display his more sensitive side to her of all people, sparked an unnamed emotion from the empath, and reignited her compassion.

She licked her lips and treaded carefully. "You're still a Titan, Robin. You're still…our friend."

He remained silent until all Raven could hear was the beating of her own heart in her ears.

It was quickly becoming apparent that mere words weren't going to cut it. There was no way she could make him understand how valuable he was to the team using verbal cues alone; how important it was to her to have a kindred spirit where she was used to being so alone. How much his presence as a Titan affected her.

That was when Raven decided that maybe, it was time to be bold; if she couldn't _tell_ him how she felt, then she might as well try to show him instead. Slowly, ever so hesitantly, she raised a trembling hand and brought it to his shoulder, her fingertips just a gentle graze against the material of his suit. The movement was enough to draw his attention, but the brashness was no longer there; instead, a childish curiosity replaced it, and for the first time in a long time, she was reminded of how young he really was.

He didn't push her away, like she'd half expected him to. He didn't retaliate, distance himself, or go on the defensive. Instead, he waited for her next move, and Raven squeezed his shoulder before closing the distance between them in the narrow hallway.

Truth was, she didn't even really know what exactly it was that she was doing. She had no idea, not vague or otherwise. Unlike almost every other important decision she'd made in her life, this was something she hadn't thought all the way through.

What next?

It was a frequent question in her mind.

She had his full attention now, but that wasn't anything special. She thought of Dick and Kory and how easily they'd fallen into such comfortable intimacy. Her face flushed at the thought, all the way to the tips of her ears. That simply wasn't _her_. Or in the least, she wasn't quite ready for it. Besides, she didn't know how to do that even if she wanted to. Most of all, she didn't think that she could handle any sort of…rejection. Although he hadn't turned her away just yet, any sort of crazily expressive form of affection might have the reverse effect she wanted to have on the boy wonder.

Raven knew her time was limited; that her window of opportunity was quickly closing. She had one chance – one shot at convincing Robin to _stay_. This desperation is perhaps what led her to her next hasty plan of action.

She kissed him.

The empath leaned in, squeezed her eyes shut, and placed her lips over Damian's in what was a sudden, unexpected embrace. Not knowing what else to do, and feeling far too flustered and embarrassed to accept the consequences were she to move away, she lingered, her hands cupping his face just below his jaw and keeping him there.

Damian didn't move.

Not a flinch or a flicker of feeling. Even his lips remained stagnant beneath her own, although warm and soft nonetheless.

On the upside, he wasn't fighting her. Instead, Robin had slowly brought his hands to clutch at her upper arms, and Raven half expected him to push her off him for such a spontaneous, unwelcomed action. Instead, he held her closer in what she deemed was an attempt to deepen the kiss. Except, much like her, he didn't seem to know _how_.

They stood there in the pitch darkness of the hallway, where all their teammates were fast asleep in their quarters, and tried to make sense of what it was that was happening between them.

Raven had anticipated… _something_. She didn't really know what, but all the books, the magazines, the movies, even Kory herself, implicated that somehow, a kiss was supposed to be…a variation of thrilling. However, all Raven could feel was awkward and uncomfortable, as she was more than certain Damian was, too. She didn't know whether she ought to move her lips, do something with her tongue, or use her hands for…touching? Anything.

She opened her eyes, keeping her lips pressed against his, while she fumbled through her own thoughts. She recalled reading somewhere that teeth were bad in kissing, but she couldn't decipher why. Sometimes, a person would bite on the other's lip. Other times, it was just tongue, but that was usually reserved for future endeavors. More often than not, there was supposed to be something indescribable; passion or lust or hormones.

Like magnets, they were supposed to long for one another, inexorably, craving touch and more. Something primal and all-consuming ought to have led them through this activity, yet whatever it was they were doing felt more mechanical and coerced than passionate. Raven tried to look through the mesh where Damian's eyes were beneath the mask, feeling an itch at the tip of her nose where it brushed against his. She was starting to miss oxygen, and quickly became more preoccupied with breathing through her nose. Was she going cyanotic? Had anyone ever died from kissing too long?

It was Damian who decided to pull away first, inhaling deeply when they'd separated. He appeared somewhat flustered and shy, and if it weren't for the damned pitch darkness enveloping them, perhaps Raven would have spotted a coy blush on the boy wonder's cheeks.

"I…I should check on Titus," he mouthed, unable to meet her eyes.

Raven, too mortified to say anything, nodded once, her gaze glued to the floor. Robin brushed by her easily enough, his small shoulders hunched as he sped on down the hall. The end of his cape flapped past her, and Raven somehow knew that, whatever it was she'd done, it hadn't been enough. In fact, she was willing to bet that it might have only made things _worse_.

* * *

As predicted, by the morning, Damian was nowhere to be found.

Raven had tried to pretend that the previous night had all been but a dream. A bad, horrible, stupid dream where she had made a grave mistake trying to fix something that wasn't technically broken. She'd spent most of the morning berating herself for her rash actions, and trying not to think about the ensuing mortification about facing him again. Somehow, she'd managed to make a mess of things between them.

"Gar, so help me, if you put soy milk in my cereal bowl, I'm going hide your controller for a month," Jaime seethed, eyeing the green shapeshifter menacingly.

Raven clutched at her pulsing temples; her guilty conscience had kept her up most of the night, and when she did dream, they were jumbled and horrifying. She groaned inwardly and placed her forehead on the cool wood of the table.

"How little you trust me, my friend," Garfield chided, clucking his tongue.

"I don't mind the soy milk, Beast Boy. But do you have it in vanilla?" Donna piped up, smiling toothily.

The changeling's grin grew. "See?" He shot Jaime a pointed glare. "I knew I liked her for a reason! One cup of fresh vanilla soy milk coming right up!" Garfield then paused in his step, and turned his head to address the sulking girl at the edge of the table. " _Et tu_ , Rave?"

Raven sighed and shook her head. "No thanks…," she replied rather glumly, her words muffled.

He quirked up an eyebrow in concern, but was quick to shrug it off for the time-being, and headed to the kitchen to fetch a few breakfast items for the rest of the team.

When Kory also joined them, she looked around at the group before her and pouted, the lines around her eyes deepening. "Damian didn't come home last night I take it…," she postulated out loud before taking her spot at the head of the table.

Garfield shrugged. "Titus is in a better mood this morning, but the pooch is still moping outside Robin's room. He won't leave his spot, and whines on occasion."

"I thought I might have heard him in the middle of the night, but by the time I checked his room, the window was left wide open and no Damian in sight," Jaime added, his shoulders slumping. He stirred his bowl of cereal with disinterest.

At the mention of Damian, Raven's neck and face flushed, and she was quick to hide beneath the hood of her cloak.

Kory rubbed at her temples and exhaled heavily. "I offered him the option of second-in-command like Dick suggested. That went over about as well as anyone might have expected," she confessed.

Donna smirked, a spoon in her hand. "Let me guess; he didn't like the idea of having to take and relay orders from someone else, right?"

"Starfire easily has the most experience. It only makes sense that she be in charge," said Jaime. "He'll come back soon enough. Even if he doesn't show it much, Damian respects you, Star."

That eased a small smile from the disconcerted alien beauty. "I hope you're right, Jaime."

"What if he doesn't?" Raven whispered, staring into the bottom of her cup. Bits of dark green tea leaves floated in the clear, yellow liquid.

"What was that, Raven?" Donna asked.

Raven breathed in, frustrated with her teammates for no good reason that she could think of. "I said, what if he doesn't come back? What if he's cutting all ties with the Titans entirely?" she repeated, louder this time so everyone at the table heard her. Having to listen to the words aloud was like shards of glass cutting through her own heart; as if none of it had been real until now. Until she verbalized her deepest worries.

"Robin would _never_ abandon the Titans," Starfire told her sternly.

"Unless someone gave him a reason to," Raven retaliated.

It stung, thinking of the rejection, realizing that maybe, she had been wrong about his feelings for her after all this time. Kissing him had been a mistake, and her lack of experience had only made it worse; pushed him away further. The very last thing Raven had wanted.

She stood up abruptly, feeling like her emotions were the bubbling, frothing liquid in a boiling pot about to spill over. "I – I'll be on the roof if there's an emergency. I've lost my appetite," she sniped rather coldly, her hands resting on the edge of the table before she fled the scene, not once looking back.

A moment of silence fell over the remaining Titans as they mulled over the empath's strange behaviour.

"Uh…should one of us maybe go check in on her or something?" Beast Boy suggested, the first one to break the terse atmosphere among the group. All eyes were on him as he looked about at all the accusing faces surrounding him. "What?" He appeared confused.

"Garfield is right," Starfire admitted with a heavy heart, "I'm afraid this is too sensitive of a subject for Raven. However, she should not be left alone," she pressed, acknowledging the remaining three Titans at the table. She then turned her glowing, green gaze to the shapeshifter. "Would you mind, Beast Boy?"

Jaime and Donna both appeared stunned by their leader's decision, but remained quiet.

" _Me_?" Beast Boy pointed at himself incredulously, his eyes wide. "You want _me_ of all people?"

Starfire nodded. "You're the least attached to all of this. Donna does not know Raven well enough, and Jaime and I might be biased in our approach."

Garfield appeared mistrusting. "I…guess. I mean, I only help take care of the dog, so I suppose that classifies me as the harmless pooper scooper. Still, I don't know if Rae'll appreciate any of us barging in on her meditation time, though."

Despite his misgivings, Garfield stood up, and made to clear his dishes, knowing better than to question Starfire's sound judgement. "All I'm saying is, if I piss her off instead, it can't be on me."

"Try not to, anyways," Donna advised with a sarcastic smirk, batting her long lashes at him.

He moved his lips in mockery of her, but it only seemed to amuse the Amazonian.

As promised, Beast Boy found Raven levitating on the rooftop, her back to him as she faced the overlook of the encroaching forest.

Beast Boy took in a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for all the ways in which the conversation could go wrong. He walked out onto the terrace until he was standing directly beside her. Raven remained unperturbed in her trance, no doubt aware of his presence even as she floated in the lotus position, her long, flowing cape just barely dusting the ground.

"Nice view, huh?" Beast Boy attempted small talk, rocking on his heels uncomfortably. He glanced over at her, only to find her eyes still closed, but there was a frustrated wrinkle around her brows now, and he couldn't help but feel a smile tug at his lips. "You know, I've never been a fan of heights. You wouldn't believe how long it took me to turn into a flying creature and actually _fly_. I was scared out of my pants."

For added measure to his story, he transformed into a green pigeon and pecked absent-mindedly at the floor by Raven's shadow. When that didn't work, he cooed and cocked his head to the side, staring up at her with as much interest as such a bird could possibly muster.

Raven sighed, and he immediately knew that he'd won over her resolve.

"My father says I should pluck all your feathers and make a meal out of you," she spoke in her staple, monotone inflection, her eyes still shut.

Beast Boy wheezed and changed back into himself. "Yeah, well, I'm not a fan of his, either," he reminded her sharply, sticking out his tongue at the glittering ruby gem on her forehead.

"The meditation helps me shut him out of my thoughts, Gar. When you interrupt, I can't do that, and he decides to squeeze in some tips and advice he finds relevant," she added.

Beast Boy scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's common knowledge around here."

Realizing that her meditation was now officially a lost cause, the empath floated gracefully down to the ground, and studied Garfield with her chilling azure stare. "I have to admit; I'm surprised they sent _you_. I was expecting Kory, truthfully," she relayed, moving her head to the side so that her short, obsidian hair tickled her shoulder.

"Hey, don't look at me. It wasn't my idea, either," he shrugged. Raven remained impassive and difficult to read. He had no idea at any given moment what was going through her head.

"So, uhm…," Garfield trailed off nervously, averting his gaze to the stone floor and scratching at the back of his neck, "You maybe wanna talk about it?"

"No, not particularly…," she answered with ease.

She gave him a moment to process this. When it appeared that he still wasn't going to leave, despite not knowing what to do next, Raven sighed, "But I'm guessing that's not going to cut it for you, is it?"

Beast Boy shook his head, sheepish in demeanor. "You don't have to say anything you don't want to, Rae. Everyone in there is just worried. It's hard enough on Kory dealing with Robin practically detesting her for taking away his leadership, not to mention making Jaime her second. The last thing she wants – that any of us want, is more infighting, or losing any more members," he pleaded.

There was raw sincerity in the way the changeling spoke, and Raven knew she ought to heed his words. A flicker of emotion crossed her features, and she hugged her arms. "I – I know that. You don't have to worry about me. I'm not going anywhere. It isn't like I have anywhere else to go, anyways…"

She didn't know why she had to go and say something like that, or why it was to Beast Boy of all people that she'd divulged it. Ever since her run-in with Damian the other night, Raven's emotions had been riled up and uncontrollable. This was merely a manifestation of it. The lack of sleep and food, she imagined, probably didn't help.

"Yeah, I get the feeling…," Garfield replied, dejected. "For a lot of us, this place _is_ home, and this is our family. Point is, you're not alone, Raven."

A warm, easy smile graced her lips, her empathy infected by Garfield's own reassuring, positive vibe that she often clung to like a leech.

"Robin, as stubborn as he is, knows that, too. It's why I'm positive he'll come back to stay. Somewhere in the darkest reaches of his soulless body, he cares. I think," Beast Boy joked, trying to lighten the mood.

At the mention of Damian, a shadow of doubt darkened the empath's features, like a dark cloud rolling in on an otherwise clear, sunny sky.

"I ruined it, didn't I?" Beast Boy coaxed, catching the hint of Raven's souring mood. His chest heaved in frustration when her answer never came. "Clearly Damian is a…sensitive topic. Let me guess; you ran into him last night, didn't you?"

No response.

Beast Boy pressed on; "You ran into him, asked him to stay, and like the stubborn jackass he is, he told you off in typical Damian fashion. Rae, you have to know that isn't your fault. It's just the way he is-…"

"It _is_ my fault!" she interjected suddenly, her features contorting into a pained grimace. "I screwed up…I made a mess of things, and now…now, I don't know what to think…" She raised her hood over her head, desperate to mask the uncharacteristic emotion bubbling up to the surface within her.

Beast Boy took a small step towards her, his arms outstretched as if she was falling and he was fully prepared to steady her. "Rae, whatever it is you think you've done, I highly doubt you're capable of screwing anything up."

She shook her head, slow and sad. "You don't understand…I was trying to make things better; I – I wanted to give him more incentive to _stay_. Instead, I did the opposite."

Garfield licked his lips. "What more incentive does that guy even need?"

Raven used the tips of her booted feet to crunch up the tiny pebbles beneath them. "Whatever it is, it isn't me. I'm not… _normal_ enough. I don't know how to be there for him like that." She clutched at the hem of her hood, trying to enclose it tighter about her face.

Beast Boy smacked his open palm against his forehead. "Oh geez, he…he didn't reject you, did he? I mean, anyone with eyes can tell he digs you, Rae. Sure, he might be going about it in the wrong way, but hey, who am I to judge?"

"I – I'm not sure, but somehow I don't think _leaving_ after sharing a kiss, no matter how awkward it was, is the response anyone looks for," she blurted out, freshly irritable. The moment she'd confessed to it, Raven flushed, from the tips of her toes up to the roots of her hair. Her lips became a tight line, and her hands turned into fists, her fingernails digging into her palms.

"Wait, _what_? You guys _kissed_?" Garfield's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets. "Is that what this is about? One weird kiss?"

Raven turned away, chewing her bottom lip and wishing more than anything that the floor would open up to swallow her whole.

A nervous chuckle bubbled up from Beast Boy's throat behind her. "You have to be _joking_. He probably flipped out because it was his first kiss from a cute girl."

Raven shook her head again. "You don't understand! You weren't there…I – I don't know…how to…," she struggled with the words, not entirely sure she was ready to confess to any more intimate details.

"How to what? _How to kiss_?"

His words hung in the air, heavy and incriminating. The tension thickened, and Raven's bottom lip quivered.

"Huh…" Garfield mulled over this new information in his head, unsure of how to help prevent the empath from bolting and hiding. "Kissing isn't hard, Rae. It comes to you naturally and in the moment. You need to let your _feelings_ guide you, and don't think too much about it when it's happening," he tried to tell her, but he was unsure if she was even listening to him anymore.

Raven's ears were abuzz, her heart racing and her mouth too parched for her to speak, the emotions within her like a whirlwind of a storm.

Beast Boy was trying to be gentle with her. He had to be mindful with how he broached such subject matter; he knew how difficult it was for Raven to talk about such things in the first place, after all. If he didn't pick his words carefully, odds were high that he'd only make things worse, and Kory would have even more on her plate as a result.

Just then, the wind picked up and played with the curtain of royal blue that was Raven's cape, causing it to ripple in the sunlight. He tried again; "First kisses can be weird, too. Sometimes it's all about timing. I'll admit, I was pretty damn nervous when I made my move on…" He couldn't finish that sentence, not without recoiling from a sudden, sharp pain that accompanied the thought. Beast Boy shook his head, like he would somehow shake off _her_ name too, still lingering on the tip of his tongue. "I mean, I got lucky. It worked out pretty well, but I easily saw it going about a million ways wrong, too."

Raven stiffened, and she continued to give him her back along with her silence.

"You know," he chuckled nervously, feeling as if the tension had only grown heavier between them, "for the right price, I could always help give you lessons or something, if you want."

It was supposed to be a joke; an effort on his part to get the empath to lighten up about the subject matter. He'd even waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively, and was only half surprised that she'd finally turned her head, if only slightly. Her lips were parted in thought, but her eyes remained hooded.

"You – You'd do that?" she breathed, her voice barely more than a hoarse whisper.

Beast Boy gulped. "Uhm…what?" he floundered, not understanding.

Raven turned to face him, her eyes like burning sapphire in the darkness beneath her hood. "You would…teach me?"

Garfield opened and closed his mouth a few times, not knowing if he'd be capable of speech, or just gasp at air like his lungs had somehow forgotten what oxygen was. He backed away, bringing his hands up in defense. "I – I think we're having a misunderstanding here, Rae…"

She remained inquisitive, and very much serious. Nonetheless, it was obvious she was just as embarrassed as he was; she fidgeted uncomfortably on the spot, and her eyes kept darting about trying not to make direct contact with his bewildered amber eyes.

It hit him then that she wasn't pulling his leg; Raven was _actually_ propositioning him.

She wanted him to help teach her how to kiss, and there wasn't a bone in her body questioning this sudden suggestion.

It had been a _joke_.

It was _supposed_ to have been just a joke.

She was supposed to have laughed, or in the least, given him her infamous, unamused glare matched with a tight-lipped frown.

Instead, she nervously picked at her cloak, stared at the edges of her violet coloured boots, and said, "There's…no misunderstanding. If you're being serious…"

His breath hitched in his throat as he contended with the notion that all this was really happening.

"You want _me_ to teach _you_ …how to kiss…" It was more of a statement than a question, because Garfield was already certain of the answer. He merely wanted it stated aloud, to prove to himself that he hadn't just imagined her sincerity in this endeavor.

Raven took in a deep, shaky breath before nodding once. And then, with a single word, she'd managed to irrevocably seal both of their fates; "Yes."

* * *

 **A/N:** _I'd say sorry but I'm not. Writing up the Damian/Raven scene ate up more time than I expected. It isn't a ship I tolerate well, and I find it extremely difficult and OOC for Damian Wayne to be written…romantically. Especially since I'm used to him being a small kid from the comics. Anyways, hopefully my discomfort and awkwardness did bleed off into the prose, as that scene ought to have made readers feel the same. Feedback as per usual is welcomed! Next chapter we'll get the show on the road (now that you all know where I'm going with this). Exciting times ahead. Thanks for reading!_


	3. Boundaries

**A Mess of Gold**

 **3**

 **Boundaries**

* * *

Things were quiet around the Tower for quite some time. The gang easily fell into a comfortable routine, and Beast Boy may as well have dreamed his encounter with Raven on the rooftop. The days crept along and turned into weeks, with Damian still barely around and Starfire falling into her natural groove as leader. Crime was low, and training was frequent. For all intents and purposes, the atmosphere was…normal – so normal in fact, it may as well have been _boring_. Not that anyone was complaining. This sort of lull came appreciated, especially after the fiasco they'd all been dealt only recently.

Losing a Titan had been hard on everyone, and although they'd each taken an immediate liking to Donna, it didn't take her long to realize that she was no replacement.

Nonetheless, they'd all done their best to make her feel welcome – even Damian. At least, when he was around. Thankfully, his absence was no longer affecting Raven like it had before. Either that, or she'd gotten better at hiding her displeasure.

Maybe that was why Beast Boy felt like he'd been blindsided on the evening she'd decided to pay him a visit.

It was a Tuesday night – in other words, another boring weeknight in which he'd convinced Jaime to marathon a series of classic Mario games with him until they either passed out from eating too many Cheetos, or rage quit one of the levels. They had a record time of staying up until six in the morning and they were looking to beat it.

If he was being honest, he'd have expected the knock to belong to Donna or Starfire, asking them to be quieter. However, the rapping of knuckles against his door were somehow hesitant and slow, with none of the urgency either lady possessed. There was no super-strength behind the sound. Instead, both boys barely heard it the first time around.

They exchanged looks before Garfield shrugged and leapt to his feet. He meandered to his door just as the second series of knocks concluded.

"Hold your horses, I'm coming!" he bellowed with a roll of his eyes.

Upon noting the subtle aroma of Raven's scent just outside his door, Beast Boy hesitated in his step, his boyish features pinching in confusion.

Raven was normally in the library at this hour, nose buried in a series of books. It wasn't like her to retire so soon. Garfield knew her routine well because their rooms were right next to one another's, and therefore he had to be mindful of the noise level the second she'd go to bed.

He opened his bedroom door and found the empath standing before him, as suspected. She didn't appear annoyed or contrived in the slightest, and was still in her uniform. Instead, she almost looked surprised by his presence despite it being his room.

They stared at one another for a moment, a strange, uncomfortable silence settling between them despite the background music of Jaime's videogame. Raven's mouth was agape, as if to take a breath – or to prepare the words she wanted to get out. It was anyone's guess. As per usual, Garfield didn't know _what_ to expect from the resident empath, and her stone-cold demeanour made it even more difficult to decipher.

Had they even spoken since the rooftop agreement? Beast Boy couldn't recall. So why was he suddenly tongue-tied and nervous, and why was that the only thing on his mind when he'd come face to face with the demoness?

"Uh, sorry, were we being loud?" He forced a charismatic grin, scratching absent-mindedly at the nape of his neck.

Raven promptly shook her head before peeking in behind him to catch Jaime stretched out on Garfield's bed, controller in hand and a bag of Cheetos beside him. He didn't seem to be all too perturbed by what was going on by Garfield's door.

"Is this, uh, a bad time?" she mumbled.

Beast Boy followed her gaze before snapping his attention back to her. "No! No, no. Not at all! What's up?"

He closed his door behind him as he joined her in the hall, leaving only a crack visible. For some reason, he didn't want Jaime prying on their conversation, or wondering what it was that had the changeling currently indisposed from their promised game night.

Raven's gaze fell to the floor while her fingers fidgeted with the silken material of her cloak. "N-nothing. I can come back later, you two seem to have an evening planned."

He lifted a brow. "Rae, we have game night like, every other night. It's not a big deal," he reassured her.

It didn't do much to assuage her concerns, despite his best efforts. She still appeared somewhat uncharacteristically tense, and when she spoke, she couldn't meet his eyes. "I was just thinking that maybe…it's time I take you up on that offer?"

Her voice was softer than usual, and she cleared her throat as though she had a hard time getting the words out.

The tips of Beast Boy's ears tingled from the heat, and he tried to act cool, even when he knew the exact 'offer' the empath was referring to. "O-oh. Uhm, right. I did promise to help, didn't I?"

He forced an uneasy chuckle for her benefit, because he couldn't imagine it was any easier on her to come to him so boldly. "You, uh, wanna do that tonight?"

Raven tucked her hands behind her back and glanced at him earnestly. She nodded once. "If you're busy, though, it can wait," she added hastily.

"I'm sure Jaime won't mind, so long as I let him keep a few bags of snacks," Beast Boy joked, his face hurting from how hard he was smiling..

"Are you sure?" she asked once more.

Beast Boy dismissed her concerns with a wave of his hand. "Positive, just give me a minute."

With that, he bounded back into his room and promptly informed Jaime of the change in plans. "Hey dude, sorry but I'm going to have to call it a night. Something, uh, came up."

The older teen gave him a puzzled look after he'd paused the game. "What? Why?"

Beast Boy rubbed at the back of his neck, trying to avoid Jaime's penetrating stare and quizzically raised brow. "I promised I'd help Rae with…something. I completely forgot about it."

At least it wasn't a total lie.

Jaime got up and sighed. "Whatever, man. You owe me for this." For good measure, he snagged a few bags of chips and a couple of cans of soda.

"Sorry," Beast Boy called after him sheepishly, wincing as Jaime fixed him with an angry glare on his way out.

Garfield could have sworn he'd cursed him under his breath in Spanish, too, but he wasn't going to open that can of worms tonight. Jaime nodded a brief goodnight to Raven and disappeared down the hallway, shovelling a handful of popcorn into his mouth. They both watched him go until Beast Boy heard him close his door behind him a few moments later.

The empath then stepped into Beast Boy's bedroom as if she was walking into a booby trap – slowly and very cautiously, her eyes darting everywhere but at the green boy standing in the middle of it.

The silence rang in Garfield's ears, the heat from the pot lights overhead making his head feel like it was ablaze.

Once realizing it was safe, Raven turned to close the door behind her with tremendous care, and the click of his lock made Beast Boy involuntarily shudder – like the two of them were about to engage in some kind of dirty act that none of the others could be made aware of.

"So," he started, inhaling deeply, "how did you want to, uh, go about this?"

Raven didn't seem to trust her own feet, and thus remained rooted to the spot just by his door. "Well, you could start by maybe brushing your teeth?"

His cheeks grew warm. "Right! Of course. Minty fresh, that's important. I'll-I'll go do that!"

As he made a mad dash to the bathroom that he shared with Damian and connected their bedrooms, he paused just before the door and turned to acknowledge the empath once more. "You can, uh, make yourself at home," he stammered, bashful.

Raven continued to observe the various posters on his walls, as well as all the toys and figures that decorated his shelves and desk space. Beast Boy promptly vanished beyond the bathroom door, and the rush of tap water could be heard a moment later.

Raven didn't seem to know what to do with herself. Had this been the first time she'd actually visited the changeling's room? Or had she simply never paid attention to it before, like she felt obligated to do now?

She meandered over to his bed, swaying in her step like a drunkard, but mostly she was just uncomfortable, thoughts of doubt and guilt plaguing her restless mind. Raven took a seat on the very edge of his mattress, as if the more of it she touched, the more tethered she became to this decision – to _him_.

It wasn't too late – she could still change her mind. She could still leave and pretend none of this ever even happened. But Garfield was already out of the bathroom and observing her from across his room as she entertained her more cowardly thoughts. His hands were at his sides, his fists clenching and unclenching in an anxious fit. With one more deep breath to steady his nerves, he walked over to her, crossing the distance in a few long strides before plopping down beside her, always conscious of the space between their bodies.

As if somehow reading her mind, he spoke in a low voice, "Rae, we don't have to do this if you don't want to…"

She inhaled sharply, staring down at her feet because it was easier than meeting his golden stare. "No."

She'd brushed her teeth, ate a mint, and applied chapstick to help soften her lips. It had taken her weeks to find the courage she'd needed to go through with the plan. If she gave up before they'd even started, it meant giving up on Damian entirely, and she wasn't quite sure she wanted that yet. Besides all of that, Beast Boy had been surprisingly accommodating and very trustworthy regarding the personal matter. She would have said it surprised her, but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense of the loyal shapeshifter.

"I can do this," she told him, meeting his gaze head-on, determination flickering beneath the deep violet of her irises.

He searched the planes of her face, looking for any sign of complacency, and found nothing. She was a mask of stone – unreadable, with no emotion forthcoming. Beast Boy finally let go of his own inhibitions, and struggled with the idea of making the first move.

He gazed into her eyes, like he was looking at her for the very first time, and maybe – in light of the newly developing situation between them – he was. Raven had always been somewhat otherworldly to him – mythical, like a unicorn, or another creature of the fantasy lore he could find her reading. Often, he'd been grateful just to be allowed in her presence, as silly as it sounded to him now. So maybe that was why he was suddenly more aware of the quickening thrum of his heartbeat the closer he drew to her, with the intent of kissing her. Maybe that was why he started to notice all the little things, like the length of her inky lashes, or the slight bump on the ridge of her nose. He'd always just assumed that the colour of her eyes were a generic dark blue, but there were swirls of violet when he caught them under the light.

Beast Boy's stare flitted down to the curve of her mouth, her full lips, slightly parted in anticipation.

Had they always looked so…soft?

His breath hitched in his throat, and his fingers trembled at his sides. Raven's gaze darted from side to side, and she chewed on her bottom lip, as if she were struggling with the urge to fidget. Beast Boy steadied her – brought her focus back to him – by cupping her face with his hand in a daring motion, his thumb grazing along the line of her cheekbone. His other fingers slid into the black silk curtain of her hair, pushing the strands away from her face. Raven froze, regarding him with wide eyes.

Garfield then leaned in, careful to avoid the tip of her nose as he slowly brought his mouth down to hers. His eyes fluttered closed, and he told himself that it was to match the intensity of the moment, but the truth was, watching her watch _him_ made him feel even more awkward than he ought to have felt. She made him self-conscious - something that Garfield Logan rarely _ever_ was.

Besides, he had been the one who'd told her it had to come _naturally_. What sort of teacher would he be if he couldn't even follow his own advice?

His bottom lip gently grazed the top of hers, and Raven let out a small but sharp gasp, barely audible if he hadn't been so near to her. Her breath - quick and shaking - was hot against his face, the pink of her mouth as soft as he may have expected. Then, without another moment's notice, Garfield kissed her, tenderly, capturing her lips with his, ever mindful of his fangs. He lingered that way with her for a few seconds more, allowing her to adjust to the new sensations she was no doubt experiencing.

However, despite this stimulation from his end, Raven remained stiff as a board – and as tense as a coiled spring. It was no wonder her and Damian had struggled to make a connection, when both of them had no clue how to navigate any romantic gesture, even if they'd been handed a map and a set of instructions.

When Beast Boy finally pulled back, the sound of their lips smacking softly as they parted, he opened his eyes to find Raven staring back at him. Her mouth had remained slightly open, as if she hadn't even flinched from when he'd kissed her, and her eyes betrayed the embarrassment she wasn't typically fond of displaying. The pallor of her cheeks was replaced with a subtle, rosy tint, and Garfield couldn't believe that he'd found himself thinking how _cute_ she looked just then. It wasn't an image he was quite used to seeing on her, and therefore made it even more difficult to comprehend his intentions with his teammate.

Raven gulped and, unblinking, she asked, "What do I do with my hands?" She brought them both up for his inspection, and he couldn't help but notice how her fingers were slightly trembling.

Beast Boy felt like his own face was burning and tingling, and he was suddenly unable to speak, afraid he'd manage to get more of her taste in his mouth – or maybe that was just the flavour of her chapstick? Cherry cola was an odd combination for any lip balm - one he anticipated she'd borrowed from Donna or Kory, no doubt - but mingling with the taste on Raven's lips was something both bittersweet and strangely intoxicating.

Should he have been flattered that she'd gone the extra mile exclusively in preparation to kiss him?

Those were dangerous thoughts, and Beast Boy shut them out the minute they'd formulated in his mind.

He was here to help her, not act on his… _feelings_.

"Well, uh, girls really like my hair. So, if we're kissing and things get heated, their hands go from my shoulders into my hair," he explained, his voice cracking slightly, and forcing him to look away in embarrassment.

Raven's hands fell back to her lap, and she stared down at them uneasily. "Shoulders. Then hair," she repeated in her monotone pitch.

She then quirked up a single brow and gave him a perplexed look. "Damian doesn't have hair like yours…it's shorter, not much to grab."

"Uh, right! Guess that's a bad example then. Well, maybe stick to shoulders then?" He grinned, but it looked more like a snarl with his prominent canines on display.

The lines around Raven's mouth twitched, but she couldn't bring herself to return the gesture.

The room was then struck with more silence, and Beast Boy felt like he was going to drown in it if she didn't say something soon. His heart was still racing, her lips still a crisp memory against his. He'd kissed girls he liked before, and he'd never felt so insecure about it like he did with Raven. He couldn't think past the maddening, semi-incoherent thoughts racing in his mind to figure out _why_ that was.

Her voice called him out of his own internal dilemma and brought his attention back to her. "Should I…should _I_ try next?"

"I-if you want…"

He could see her chest rise with deep inhalation as she seemed to brace herself for what she was about to do. Beast Boy found himself holding onto his own breath as Raven sought to mimic his previous actions, bringing her slender, pale digits to his cheek, and brushing along his tender skin with her icy touch. The room was overbearingly warm, and while Garfield's own palms were sweating, he couldn't understand how Raven's were still so cold.

Beast Boy watched her lean in – noted the way in which her hair moved forward like a curtain of obsidian – and he felt as if time itself had slowed to a crawl before they'd inevitably collide.

Just as Raven's lips hovered over his, a hairsbreadth away, she hesitated. Beast Boy's pulse was a rush in his ears, his fingers grasping at the bedsheets in anticipation, and he could feel the way she exhaled against his mouth, her breath like warm honey.

"I can't do this." Raven pulled away suddenly, the moment shattering like smashed glass. "I'm sorry." She shook her head, her eyes squeezed shut because she couldn't dare bring herself to look at Garfield's dazed features.

Before he could even think to stop her, Raven had bolted for the door, her hood raised and her dark cloak a blue shadow after her silhouette as she made a hasty retreat.

Beast Boy, on the other hand, remained perfectly still where she'd left him, too stunned to give chase or even call out her name. Instead, he brought his own index finger to run along his bottom lip, and wondered what it was that he'd possibly done wrong to scare off the unusual girl he'd agreed to help…

* * *

 **A/N:** _I apologize for the cliffhanger, but I got to writing the rest of this chapter feeling like it was better off as the beginning of the next one instead. I've also been stuck on this story for a while now, and I really wanted to push out an update. Anyways. I hope this was good. Thanks for reading! :)_


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